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The holidays can be filled with so much joy, but there’s something about this time of year that can also make us hyper anxious and even disappointed. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “comparison is the thief of joy” and I think this rings true 10 fold around the holidays.
As someone who didn’t grow up with many holiday traditions, the prospect of building traditions into my new family were both exciting and daunting. How does one go about picking traditions? How do you pick the “right” ones? Turns out, there’s no secret formula, but I have some tips on how to create a more peaceful family rhythm this time of year, gleaned from lots of personal mistakes.
- Let go of expectations. If you have small kids, know in advance that things won’t go perfectly. Kids will melt down, they won’t like the food you so thoughtfully prepared, they will refuse to put on those ice skates (🙄), or everyone will just be tired and want to go home. It’s okay. The goal is not perfection. The goal is spending time with those important to you. Trying things out. Seeing what works for your specific family. Which leads me to…
- Take advantage of free things. When your family is young, take advantage of lots of free holiday outings. Fortunately Chicago is full of these, and they offer a low impact opportunity of seeing what does and doesn’t work for your family. They great thing about free activities are that if a meltdown occurs, or you just realize it wasn’t for you, you go home and don’t feel bad for having wasted tons of money!
- In the same vein, don’t feel like you need to do everything. Start by picking out 2-4 bigger things, that you’ll maybe spend filling out your weekends in December. Maybe pick one place you’ll spend money on. Don’t be afraid to find ways to save money on ticketed items too! I’m a die hard library loyalist, and if you search the library database, you can snag free tickets to the Museum of Science and Industry (as a Chicago resident) and enjoy their Christmas trees from around the world—an almost $100 value!
- Keep in mind your kids ages. Do you have dreams of visiting the Russian tea room or seeing the Nutcracker this time of year, but have a 2 year old? I know I do! Don’t sweat it. Your time will come. I know it’ll be well worth the wait when the kids are older, and we can all enjoy the experience more. Another great way to enjoy these more mature outings is to have a adults only night! This is something I want to try this year, and maybe start a new tradition!
- Consider a social media break. I know, this one may feel difficult. It’s so fun to see what everyone is up to this time of year! It’s so great to see what kinds of holiday sales your favorite shops have? But wait…is it? This was one of the first signs for me that I needed an extended social media break. I found that I felt especially anxious around this time of year because I noticed everyone’s holiday experiences seemed to be picture perfect, and I knew mine were secretly floundering behind the scenes. Yes, you’ll be saying goodbye to sharing all your experiences with the world too, but I think you may find they become extra special when you aren’t focused on packaging them up to present.
- Stand back and enjoy. Almost every year we’ve had some debacle around an experience I’ve tried to have. The gingerbread houses kept falling apart and the kids ONLY wanted to eat candy. I became the sole baker for our holidays cookies to be dispensed to neighbors and friends (meaning I spent around 8 hours solo baking) because my kids lost interest. But you know what’s funny? My kids are already excited about the holiday season and talking about gingerbread houses. Turns out, they’re not the ones after perfection. Turns out, they remember the time you spent with them, making messes, and creating memories. I think we may finally be onto this whole tradition making thing.
I hope you have a lovely and peace filled holiday season this year with those closest to you!
